When I come in contact with guys, I am sure they see the ring on my left finger. (Don't be frightened, guys! haha) It isn't the 1-3 (I am giving that guy out there some leeway) carat ring I always talk about receiving from my fiance one day, it is simple and plain...Ladies and Gentlemen it is my purity ring, my vow to God and myself to abstain from sex until marriage. This decision was conceived (funny choice of word, I know) from fear of poppin' out a youngin' my first time, I use to think, that would be just my luck. Now that I am past the fear aspect, another reason why I have decided to wait is...(drum roll please) I am an emotional wreck if I gave someone my virginity and they were a douche about it or boom the relationship went down hill from there, I would be in jail for vehicular manslaughter, I would run him over with Dai Dai-The Hyundai. Now I know some wonder, how have I stayed true to the commitment over my high school years, and especially my college years?? The answer is, it wasn't easy. My high school years was when I found it most challenging, then I had a steady boyfriend with an ulterior motive. The ulterior motive was simple, not complex at all...it was just that he was a high school boy ready to add a notch to his belt so he could have locker room stories to tell his other athlete friends. Sometimes he would take off my purity ring and play with it and ask questions like, "why do you torment me this way if we are truly in love? He'd also make cliche statements like, "We are going to be together for ever!" Negros/White boys please come up with some new material, I think every woman has heard this line in some sort. Ladies: if you've heard this before add a comment. In college, thus far, I have buried myself in work so I wouldn't be faced with such asinine questions and statements such as those stated before. But there have been a few a prospects. Exhibit A: Military Man. Military Man rode into town one day with one of my friends, and lets just be blunt. I though... he was.... how can I put this nicely, height impaired and arrogant. Needless to say, I told my friend to give him my number and it went on from there. So we text messaged a bit, and we were cordial...Then boom I threw it out there...I wasn't going to lead him on. The text message went something like this..."I'm a Christian, and one thing I truly believe in is upholding my morals, therefore I do not partake in premarital sex." So I knew he wasn't going to text me back. Here I was thinking haha I knew they were all alike trying to get the goodies. But a minute later, I got a response back saying he respected my decision and he'd see if I was truly worth the wait. DAMN, he was a good'un. Where did he go?? I'll get to that. It turns out my friend had prepped him about me saying something along the lines of, "Man she's really smart, nice, and her family like goes to church EVERY Sunday." Military man was a breath of fresh air, even though we didn't form a relationship, today, we're still friends, so unlike High School boy. Now directly after Military Man and before, never been kissed boy...yeah, I know you're wondering about that one. Co-worker came along, we had been co-workers for about a year or two and we'd be friends a good while. We talked on the phone all the time, and eventually started hanging out ALL THE TIME too. I would be in my hometown all the time visiting him. We seemed to always be at his house, boy was that a set up...and always in his room, again it could have went wrong but it didn't...Although he was a douche in the end, he didn't pressure me. His mom or siblings were never, ever, ever home. It was always sweet, we played pool, watched tv, and we "bust slob" lol. But it never went beyond that so he respected my situation. So, "never been kissed boy" was not a threat, obviously...why?? Because he has never been kissed. We tried out a relationship, and it didn't work, and I never got to take his codename/label from him. He still has his "lipginity". In the beginning it was hard, but once you explain to guys your obligation they normally respect it or kick you to the curb. When they kick you to the curb, you didn't need their 'trif' butts anyway. If any one pressures you into doing something you don't feel comfortable, flee the situation. Hormonally it is hard, I'm young c'mon now. But when I hear the stories of some of my friends and the good does not outweigh the bad, I begin to internally rejoice. When you have sex with someone, it isn't just sex (regardless of how guys are programmed to think), it is a bond...an emotional connection so to speak. If you aren't mentally stable and aren't in a steady relationship, maybe you should wait. I am not pushing my views on anyone, this is only my opinion. Wait to you at least find someone that is willing to get to know you, someone who knows you inside and out--your likes and dislikes, a man that would be proud to show you off like a trophy to his family and his boys, and someone that doesn't creep over into the night and use you as a booty call, someone that wants to hold your hand and be seen with you in the daylight. If I step on some toes, sorry 'bout it. Women, if you have that male mentality like wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. God Bless you, cause you'll never know real love or a real relationship that way. Ladies if you haven't abstained, practice celibacy, it doesn't have to be religious, just do something that helps you with maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself and your significant others. As far I go, I will keep believing in 1 Corinthians 7:1-7.
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